www.schlopstakovich.com

Eyy - wassupt geezers? Has you heard 'bout dis new show - is called 'Arry Schlopper and the Cursed Bloke. Is all the rage 'ere in Schlopshire. I'm still looking to get me mitts on a pair of tix. Jus' thinking you bears across da pond might be interested in crossing da pond to see da show and afters ...

Yo you bumblers, I came across dees new tuna da fish recipe of da salad variety, aight. Check it out and shout back with da news. Keep it real with mushy peas forever. 2 (6 ounce) cans solid white Starkist tuna in water 2 tablespoons juice from 1 lemon ½ teaspoon salt ¼ teaspoon ground black pepper ...

Word up Sneechy, I didn't think yous would actually dig me to join your little s bear cukabilly. Innit for real wicked dat yous ave invited me! I would for real dig to go rollin the ten pinners wiv yous too. Do yous think I need to brin shoes or can I be renting some there? Also, do yous think there...

Wot yous bangin about lee? I totally disagree wiv yous. In fact yous borrow me a wicked taste in my mouf, a taste well unlike tuna.

Looks to me like Schlops has split town. This be what I thought might be happenin'. I've not gots no tuna from Schlop - and I means ever! I think hes been keepings all this tuna just fer himself, and now hes splitsville to Aruba with some hot-to-trotz Britneys in tow no doubt. I tell yous guys this ...

Yo Schlopney here. I be seeing you've been offering out gifts to all these green-beans here, what a bunch of Britneys. Well you tell Schlop for me that I still be waiting for my tunas here at Schlopwarts where I been studying the Schlopcrafts and the Schloppery. See, I can't get my own tunas until I...

Oy, Schlop! Remember me, I bees your cousin from across the pond, you remember, Schlopney the cockney Schlop? Yous rememberin all my messages I sent you asking about the whereabouts of some tuna you could send me. But yous never sent the tuna. Now whats this I see about you eating tuna and baguettes...